Death, they say is a great leveler and
it is also the final and ultimate step through which all beings have to pass,
which is a proof of the impermanence nature of life. But, however natural occurrence death is, no one
looks forward to it and everyone mourns the demise of a beloved one.
Since life has to go on, the bereaved
try to resume a normal life at the earliest possible, at least externally. No one really knows what may be going on in
their minds. But what happens when
someone, willy-nilly or accidently, reminds the person in grief about the lost
one, especially if that lost one has left behind two young children? I think it’s natural for memories to come
flooding back and the old wound to become raw again. It really must be extremely painful. It also results in lots of embarrassment,
which I am very certain because I just did that. Without intending to I rubbed salt in a
friend’s wound and I felt miserable, low and felt like the scum of the
earth!
It was the 16th of June. I
was in his office for some insignificant work, which could have waited. But the restless person that I am, I could
not wait and I was there in his office.
After the customary greetings we settled down for business, which was
not much anyway. In the midst of our
conversation, I absentmindedly blurted out, “Is today your late wives’
birthday?” and regretted the moment I said them. If it were possible I would have taken back
my words but then you know the impossibility of how words spoken and bullets
shot out of the barrel of a rifle to be called back. The damage has already been done. He went red in the face and mumbled
something, which I could not hear.
I
know he is a strong person, and thanks God he was not in tears, but that moment
I knew I struck a chord deep within him.
I knew my words brought back lots of memories, some of which he wanted
to bury deep but I unearthed them for him.
Me and my slippery tongue! I
somehow managed a feeble “I am sorry” and then I was loss of words. What do you say during such moments? I am not really good at consoling others and
any further attempts at it would have made things worse for both of us. The least said the better. Even if I did console him then, I knew and he
knew that, whatever I said, however sweet and warm the words, they would be
just empty and hollow words. Only he
would have known what was going on in his mind.
With nothing more to say, I excused myself out of his office on some
pretext and fled. Literally, I ran and
people may have thought that I was an eccentric person. But I was not in a condition to bother.
People may wonder how I knew his late
wives’ birthday. The answer is
simple. It’s the internet in general and
facebook in particular that put me in such awkward situation. That morning I visited facebook and saw the
notification there. That lovely person
was my friend in facebook. May her soul
rest in peace!
My slippery tongue got myself into
another embarrassing situation, a few months back. I was in conversation with around half a
dozen of people over a drink. We met for
the first time that day and were to work together for the next few weeks. One was a young sweet lady. As the night progressed we started talking
and the topic of our discussion turned to families. I asked the lady about her family, to which
she replied that her husband was no more.
I was sorry for her and conveyed the same through words. The discussion should have ended there. Period!
But my next words shocked even myself.
“How did he die?” were the words that slipped out of my mouth. I didn’t intend to but somehow these words
came out. I was embarrassed and
shocked. I knew then and there that my
words brought back lots of poignant memories.
The others in the group froze and there was pin drop silence. May be they took me for an insensitive fool
and I don’t deny it because only insensitive fools will do such insensitive
acts. Resuming the conversation after
that was quite awkward. But the lady in
question, being a good one in that, took things gracefully. At such a very young age she has gone through
so much in life. I summed up my words of
condolence thus, “God must have better plans for him”.
After the incidence with this lady, we
became very good friends. She confided
in me how and what all she went through, the shocks and the “near depression”
experience she went through. May be it
feels better to get things out of one’s chest and this lady does that whenever
she feels low and down. I am proud to be
of a little help to someone, though I cannot tell her so in as so many words.
No comments:
Post a Comment